So it seems to be a normal thing for me to start a blog entry, apologising for a lack of updates and entries. It always surprises and overwhelms me when people ask about my injuries, like many women’s football players in similar positions who experience similar reactions I always find myself wondering, does anyone want to hear the ramblings of me and my injuries? But I guess, whether anyone’s listening or not, i enjoy writing and as I currently sit on a train back to Liverpool i can guarantee at the rate I write (on an iPad may I add) it’s gonna kill a load of time! I’d make a terrible journalist, I’m too laid back for deadlines.
I don’t really know how to explain my life at the minute, it’s quite strange spending time as a spectator in something which is essentially my job/life, whatever you want to call it. Imagine going into ‘work’ everyday knowing you can’t actually do your job properly, instead watching others doing it for you. Sounds great doesn’t it! Well I can assure you, in the environment I find myself in, it’s quite difficult. Especially as i find myself university-less now I’ve finished for the summer and await my final year, later this year. It’s surprising how lost you can feel when what I’ve always considered a hobby until recently, is slightly taken away from you. Yet through this difficulty I’ve found myself with a desire to do something, a project, a pastime or hobby of some sort that can give me direction alongside my rehab.
I’ve always played football, with barely any complications/injuries. Something as I’ve stated before, I probably took for granted. It may sound pathetic but things don’t feel right knowing that I can’t kick a ball. After I ruptured my 2nd ACL around March time this year (I could be wrong) I spent a lot of time wondering why? Why it had happened again, which frustrated the life out of me. I’m not someone who really speaks about how I feel however it is obvious with my demeanour something is bothering me, besides the obvious upset from the injury. Once that subsided I couldn’t seem to shake the desire to understand why I had done it again, a question which I’m sure people who have experienced multiple injuries often seek the answer to. If I knew the why, maybe I could have done something to stop it happening again being top of the ‘thought list’ ha. To my surprise, that question was answered to a degree, with the surgery notes from my 2nd operation. The surgeon had stated that the site of attachment for my ACL – the intercondular notch, was smaller than the average persons, meaning I had a small ACL and in turn leaving me more susceptible to an ACL rupture. Thanks mum + dad!! This news provided me with some peace of mind and a hope that now both have been replaced, that’s my lot ha!
I now return for the second part of the season, post holiday, ready to continue with my rehab more motivated than ever to let this be one of my last blogs regarding injury and get back playing next year. I’ve started straight line running and a lot of my rehab is based around Proprioception and strength work. I’m very lucky to be able to access physio pretty much everyday and I’m so grateful to Liverpool for looking after me as well as they have done. I can’t forget my rehab partner, Nici who is doing so well herself and makes every session we do together a lot easier! As I said earlier, I’m really interested in starting some kind of project so any suggestions as silly as they may seem are welcome (I love music and think I’m pretty open-minded). I’m ending this blog entry still sat on the train (surprise surprise) surrounded by beautiful British countryside feeling all nostalgic and cheesy thinking how grateful I am for a lot of things in my life. As I always say I’m a believer that everything happens for a reason and you should have no regrets in life. I hope this blog has maybe helped anyone going through a similar situation, knowing that regardless of how bad things may seem in your life, to never take things for granted as little as they may seem and enjoy everyday you’re alive! Life’s short 🙂
Thank you for reading,